Day 26

Another beautiful fall day.

Last night my computer was not cooperating, so yesterday's post was published today.

I had a really nice day at work and a pleasant evening at home. No exercise today, but I did get in my five days this week.

Hasenpfeffer.

Day 25

The thing about keeping a daily blog is that some days there isn't much to say. This would be one of those days.

Hasenpfeffer.

Day 24

Today was an exceedingly frustrating day. Nevertheless, I managed to get myself to the gym for a shoulder/arms workout and a 3.1 mile run. I'm sorta proud of that.

Hasenpfeffer.

Day 23

Second work day with the light box in the morning. I had a nice amount of energy today and went to the gym for a leg workout after work. It was a good, strong workout.

Hasenpfeffer.

Day 22

I got up at 5:15 so I could sit by the light box for 30 minutes this morning. It's kinda hard to tell at this point if it is making much difference. It will be easier to tell in the heart of the winter.

Did an outdoor run this evening. Beautiful weather for it.

Hasenpfeffer.

Day 21

Beautiful day today!

I started the day by sitting under my light box for the first time .(Okay, not literally under it. More like next to it.) I had a very energetic morning, but I'm not sure if that was due to the light box or the fact that it was a gorgeous, sunny fall day.

We took the top off the Jeep and took our bikes out to Valley Forge for a nice long bike ride, then over to Bahama Breeze for lunch (fish tacos).

Now it's time to start getting my mess together to be ready for a Monday.

Hasenpfeffer.

Day 20

I opened up the light box today! I put it on my night stand. When I first turned it on, I was like... Really. Very underwhelmed. It seemed to be giving off about as much light as an ipad. Then I remembered that there was a button to adjust the intensity. I turned it all the way up and it nearly melted the paint off the walls. I think it burned a negative of me onto my headboard. It definitely gives off some light.

The directions that came with it said to use it for 30 minutes within an hour of waking in the morning. That kind of rules out bringing it with me to use at work because by the time I get to work I've been up for nearly two hours. Plus, I'm never sitting still at work. Most days I'm not sitting at all. I think it is also just a little too heavy to rubber-band to my car visor, which was another idea, so I'm just going to have to wake up earlier and use it first thing in the morning. My plan is to wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual (which means a 5:00 wake up call - Ugh) and sit by the light while I drink my morning coffee. I'll give that a try and see how it goes.

For those who are interested, the light box I bought is the Aurora LightPad (Bright Light Boxes for Brighter Lives...and who doesn't want a brighter life???). Although I've only just turned it on and haven't actually sat under it yet, my first impression is good.

I worked chest and back at the gym today and ran four miles.

Although I am a big fan of peace, I'm going to quit signing off with it because it sounds...trite. For the moment, though, I can't think of anything better. So for tonight my signoff will be hasenpfeffer because I've always loved the sound of it.

Hasenpfeffer.

Day 19

TGIF!

I feel like this is a weekend I definitely worked for. It was an exhausting week.

Today was a day off from exercise. Tomorrow I'll unpack the light box and fire it up for the first time.

Peace

Day 18

Went to the gym for a shoulder/arms workout and a 3.1 mile run on the treadmill. I'm feeling exhausted as I near the end of my first week back to school, but it was a good day.

Peace

Day 17

Tonight we went to an event hosted by my father-in-law. It was the unveiling of a project he has been working on, and it was nice to be there and be a part of the evening.

I'm still really enjoying my class and look forward to going to work each day, although I'm exhausted and about ready for a weekend.

Today was a day off from exercise (First day off this week).

Peace

Day 16

The sun lamp arrived! I haven't actually opened it yet. I'll check it out this weekend.

Did a leg workout at the gym today, then straight home after that. I had a lot of energy today, which felt good. I'm really enjoying being back at school, and am loving my new students. It's shaping up to be a good school year.

Peace

Day 15

First day of school! I have a really nice (although large) class. I'm nearly at capacity with 32 students. The first day left me exhausted, as it always does, but pleased with my class and eager to get the school year started.

Tonight I went for a run even though I had it slated as a day off from exercise. The weather was just too enticing. There was a beautiful fall breeze blowing that carried me through the entire run. It was practically a spiritual experience.

Sun lamp has still not arrived.

Peace

Day 14

Beautiful, beautiful day today. Full sun, temperatures no higher than the low 80s, and a wonderful breeze. We took the top off the Jeep, strapped our bikes on the rack, and went for a nice long bike ride at Valley Forge.

Tomorrow I meet my new class of students. Very exciting.

Peace

I was really sleepy today, but I think it was just from being up late last night with the kids. I still managed to make it to the gym. I got in a chest and back workout and a 4 mile run. That's the longest run I've done in quite some time. 

Tonight we went to have dinner with friends and played Greedy. It was a really nice time.

Peace

Day 12

Today was a day off from exercise. Very happy that it's the weekend: it's been a long week. Maybe my light box will arrive this weekend?

Peace

Day 11

Another nice gym workout after work today. I did shoulders and arms, then a 3.4 mile run on the treadmill. It was a really busy day, but enjoyable nonetheless. I'm excited to meet my new students on Monday.

Peace

Day 10

I went to the gym today after work, which is to be celebrated as a good thing. This is the time when I typically fall off my exercise routine. With the school year starting, I tend to come home exhausted and use that as an excuse to skip my workout. I really want to remain conscious of that pattern and use that knowledge to fight the urge to slack off this year. Next week will be the true test. The first week that students are back, while exciting, always wipes me out. I need to not let myself make excuses and continue on a good path of health and exercise. It helps that I have the goal of the Color Run on October 18 to keep me motivated. After that, I'll pick a new goal to work towards so I don't lose steam. 

Peace

Day 9

First day back to school after summer break! These first four days back are spent in meetings and preparing the classroom. I won't have kids in my room until Monday, but I'm looking forward to it.

No exercise today, but I did do some creative work putting my colleague's and my faces on popcorn kernels for a school display. Don't ask.

Peace

Day 8

Today was mostly spent preparing for heading back to work tomorrow after a really beautiful summer off. Besides school preperations, I did a chest/back workout at the gym and ran 3.5 miles on the treadmill in preparation for the Color Run in October.

This evening we went to the inlaws for a wonderful Labor Day cookout.

That's all I got for now.

Peace

Day 7

Okay, so I just finally made a decision and ordered a light box. I decided to go with the Aurora Light Pad. It's compact, portable, lightweight, and has a light intensity of 10,000 lux up to 30 inches away.

My hope is that I will be able to use it in my car during my morning commute. Once it arrives, I'll be experimenting to see if I can somehow affix it to my sun visor or dash.

I'm excited about this. I'm really hoping the light therapy will be effective for me.

This morning I did a 30 minute run, satisfying my goal of excercising for at least 30 minutes five days a week. Tomorrow starts week two.

Peace

Day 6

A word about the use of light boxes to treat seasonal affective disorder:

From what I have been reading, people seem to benefit most from the use of a light box if the treatment is received first thing in the morning for about 30 minutes. This creates a little bit of a problem for me in that I already get up at 5:30am to be ready to leave for work by 6:30. During that hour I am feeding pets, making my lunch, and getting showered and dressed. It's not a time when I can just sit somewhere for half an hour with a light on me, and to get up at 5:00am so that I can fit in 30 minutes of light therapy does not sound enjoyable or sustainable to me.

What I plan to do next is to see if I can find some kind of light box that could be affixed to the sun visor in my car. Since I have about a 50 minute commute to work in the morning, that would give me plenty of exposure.

I have, in my light box search, come across light boxes that are attached to sun visors that you wear on your head. Apparently they have been seeing some positive results with these sun visor light boxes, but studies have yet to determine if the results are real or a placebo effect.

I'm confident that in the end I fill find something that will work for me, but I do need to get moving on it as the days are only getting shorter.

Peace

Day 5

This is going to be a short one, because I'm tired.

Another beautiful day. Mild temperatures and full sun. I went for a 30 minute run this morning to take advantage of the weather, then got some things done around the house.

Tonight we went to my sons' first football game (they won!), and I noticed that it is already feeling very much like fall. Despite the shortening days, I love this weather.

Peace

Day 4

I think today was the most beautiful day of summer so far. It felt like fall out there. Bright sunlight, cool temps, and a beautiful breeze.

I haven't shopped for a light box yet, but I did create this:

Look closely. That's me hanging from Shangela's earring! I can't help it. It's the image I get in my mind every time I hear that Chandolier song.

Did a nice shoulder and arm workout at the gym and ran on the treadmill for 3.25 miles. Maybe tomorrow I'll shop for a light box???

Peace

Day 3

It was a good day today. I went in to work one last time to get my classroom ready before I officially have to be back on Tuesday. I drove with the top down on my Jeep to take advantage of as much of the morning sun as possible while it lasts.

Took today off from exercise, but spent about an hour doing some creative writing and was happy with the results.

Tomorrow I am going light box shopping before the days get too much shorter.

Peace.

Day 2

What I am feeling today is grateful. Friends and family have given me a real out-pouring of love and support in response to this project. It's left me feeling humble and appreciative.

Today I went in to work for awhile, then did a leg workout at the gym and cycled (indoors) for 30 minutes. Although I was tired, it wasn't the kind of tired I get when my SAD is in full swing. It was actually a really enjoyable workout. 

Oh yeah: last night I went to the in-laws for dinner with the whole family (it's a Monday night tradition). That counts as a social activity.

That's all I got for now.

Peace.

Day 1

Day 1! Woot!

Today was a good day, as I expected it would be. It's really too early in the season for me to be experiencing any real symptoms, but I am starting early because:

a) I am already seeing signs of increased appetite

b) Most of the treatments I have been reading about suggest starting in early fall

c) to get into the routine of this project before I get slammed with the start of a new school year

I got up early to do a little more SAD research, went to school and worked on setting up my classroom for a few hours, then hit the gym and did a chest/back workout and a 3 mile run.

The rest of this post gets a little technical and...dare I say...boring? So feel free to stop reading here if you like.

One of the questions that has been on my mind is whether or not I have full blown seasonal affective disorder (SAD), or its milder cousin subsyndromal seasonal disorder (S-SAD), also know as "winter blues". The difference between the two is subtle, from what I can tell, with subsnydromal SAD (S-SAD) having milder symptoms.

So...which do I have, and does it really matter?

At a Bates College Health Center website (http://www.bates.edu/health/health-information/seasonal-affective-disorder/) I found this list of symptoms associated with SAD:

1) Decreased mood and low energy level (Check. Low energy level becomes more pronounced for me than decreased mood, but they're both there.)

2) Difficulty waking up in the morning. (No. I'm a morning person year-round.)

3) Irritability (Check. More specifically, I become very impatient.)

4) Anxiety (Check. However, I have anxiety year-round and take a low dose of Lexipro to treat it, so...*shrug*.)

5) Inability to concentrate. (Depends. I can concentrate easily on tasks at hand, but it becomes extremely difficult for me to concentrate on conversations in social settings. I respond well to "sound bites" during this part of the year, and have difficulty focusing on anyone speaking for longer than a few seconds. I find myself literally scrunching up my face trying to stay focused when someone is telling me a story. Needless to say, I'm not much of a conversationalist during the winter months, and dinners out with my husband can be painful for both of us.)

6) Difficulty performing tasks that are usually easy or enjoyable. (Depends on the task. I function fine at work, but have great difficulty maintaining my exercise routine during the winter months. I lose all drive to go to the gym, and if I push myself to go, the entire experience feels torturous.)

7) Low sex drive. (No noticeable change in sex drive for me.)

8) Carbohydrate craving. (CHECK! This is one of the worst parts for me. I tend to pack on 20-30 extra pounds in the winter, diet it off in the spring/summer, then begin the cycle again in the fall. Ugggh!)

Some sights also list thoughts about death or suicide as a symptom of SAD. Fortunately, I don't experience that. In terms of depression, I don't feel down or sad, I just don't feel much like DOING anything; even things I normally really enjoy.

On a website by the American Psychological Association, a Dr. Kelly Rohan reports that the main difference between SAD and S-SAD is that those who suffer from S-SAD do not meet diagnostic criteria for depression during the winter months, while sufferers of SAD do. (http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2013/02/seasonal-disorder.aspx) I don't think I'd meet diagnostic criteria for depression, so I suspect that I experience S-SAD rather than SAD. Fortunately, the treatments for both seem to be pretty much the same, so on with the plan!

Despite the horrid name, I am hoping this will actually be a very happy project. Here's some background:

So apparently I suffer from at least some degree of what is commonly known as SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder. As I research, I am learning that there is a difference between actual seasonal affective disorder and just the "winter blahs". 

The pattern I have noticed is that beginning around September and lasting until roughly March/April, I become uncomfortably close to morphing into an actual bear preparing for hibernation. Starting in early fall, my appetite gets out of control (at the best of times I like to eat, but during the colder months my body seems to think it needs to pack on extra layers of fat for the "lean times" ahead). I also begin doing a lot of sleeping. While I am fine at my job, the minute I get home and the sun goes down, I have great difficulty staying awake. There are nights when it is literally difficult for me to stay up past 7:30 - 8:00. I lose interest in doing anything social during the winter, and resent anything (outside of my job) that takes me away from the cozy comfort of my home, even things I would find thrilling at any other time of year. While I am normally a pretty active person (biking, hiking, running, and hitting the gym), all activity tends to drop off during the fall and winter. Suddenly going to the gym or for a short run feels like torture, and when I do go I really have to drag myself through it.

Now personally, I am fine with most of the symptoms (I don't mind being more of a homebody and a hermit during the winter; I DO mind putting on the weight, though). But since I realize I don't live in a bubble and know that my symptoms affect my relationship with those around me (primarily my husband and two sons), I've decided to take action to try to have a "better" winter season this year. Thus the birth of the S.A.D. project.

I hate that the acronym for this disorder is "SAD", so I've decided to change what the letters stand for. For the purposes of this project, S.A.D will stand for pSyched About Discovery! (I know; I cheated a little with the "S", but since it's my project, I can do what I want.) The next eight months and however-many days will be devoted to discovery. Discovery of ways to minimize the effects of my seasonal affective disorder, discovery of resources available to me, and discovery of what I can do when I put my mind to it. No idea is too absurd for me to try. The purpose of this project is to see what works for me, and to possibly come up with some strategies that may also help others.

The Plan:

I want my plan to address the three main aspects of my life most affected by S.A.D.: my social life, my physical health, and my spiritual well-being. With these goals in mind, for the next 8 months and however-many days (ending on May 1, 2015) I will:

- engage in some sort of physical activity for at least 30 minutes at least 5 days/week. (This is to keep a strong body and counteract the lethargy and overeating that the winter months seem to bring for me. I know 30 minutes doesn't seem like much, but I can always do more. I'm a teacher, so once fall hits, my schedule gets a lot busier. Right now it's important to me to establish goals that I will be able to maintain even when life becomes more hectic.)

- engage in some sort of social activity at least twice a month. (This is to fight against my tendency to isolate during the winter.)

- engage in some sort of creative activity at least once a week. This can be as simple as writing a poem or doing a sketch, as long as it is something creative. (To feed my spirit.)

- do a gratitude meditation daily for a minimum of 10 minutes. (To keep me grateful and feed my spirit.)

- under the guidance of my physician, experiment with various therapies/medications believed to be helpful in treating seasonal affective disorder. I'm not at all averse to taking medication and, in fact, have been taking Lexipro for mild anxiety for some years now. 

Why not a year?

I know, I know; most people who do this sort of project go for a year. A year is a nice tidy unit of time. I have chosen to go for 8 months instead because:

1) My SAD symptoms really only affect me during the fall and winter

2) May 1 is my birthday, so it will be fun to be able to celebrate my success (assuming I'm successful) on that day.

3) Year shmear.

So here goes! I am about to embark on a path of discovery to see if I can more effectively manage my symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder! (If my next post isn't until May, it can be assumed that my plan failed!)